事实上,我迷失了自己。。

挣扎在找寻自己的旅途中。。

许多事情,我都搞砸了。。

许多事情,我也都错过了。。

更多的事情,我已失去原先的动力。。

我是一张纯灰色的纸。。

迷茫而空虚。。。。

Let the train led us the way..

Let the train led us the way..
Dududuudu~~~~Where is yer next destination?

空壳  

Posted by Cbeng

跆拳道比赛结束了,明天(13/10/10)要开学了;
再过两个星期,28/10/10 又要考试了,而且是年终考

随着比赛的结束,隔天的我床起得特别迟。
生活节奏慢下来了一丁点,应该说是心灵节奏慢下了一丁点。
由于生活重心突然失去了几八仙的平衡,
于是空虚感又重新加倍的回来了。
已经过了多久?
事到如今、活到如今,
我都还没有调整回来。。
到底要失衡多久?
这样的感觉特别想哭,却也哭不出。。
说是有伤感的事也不对,说是有高兴的事,也说不上。
感觉在一分一秒地消失,
不知何时我将会成为一块大石头了。。


虽然应该说我的现任生活重心应该是放在学业上的,
可是事实上似乎并非如此。
我只把重心放在了学校生活上,并非学业!
越来越不清自己在干什么,
越来越看不清楚任何事情。
只明白到自己是有多么的不足,
不管是在任何事情上。
越是努力地做了一件事,越是感到沮丧。
我并非害怕面对失败,
可是越是失败,
我越是找不到自我。。
每复一日、每复一秒, 真正生活下去的欲望越是减少;
每复一日、每复一秒,
空虚感越是加倍地逼近。


只要是有假期或时间在家里的我,
总会是需要在店里帮助母亲卖吃。
明白到这是生活之需
明白到这是我的责任
可始总是觉得有些地方不对劲,
总是觉得无奈。。
我都觉得如此了,
想必母亲比我更无奈吧
生活正是有很多无奈的地方,
要如何活得精彩正是要看我们,
如何去对待生活、如何苦中作乐、
如何扭转乾坤,还有更多的如何。。
而我正是缺乏这样的本事和心态。
于是更意识到一点,
从以前直到如今,不知何时开始,
一直都迷失了自我,生活的重心失调;
从几何时。。。。
我遗忘了自己的梦想?
是从来就没有过梦想?
还是我真的遗忘了?
现今的我与一副空壳毫无分别。
就如蜗牛的壳找不着了它的首脑。
下一步的它该何去何从?
下一步的我该如何生活?

21 Guns  

Posted by Cbeng in

Artist   : Greenday

    
_____________________________________________________________________
Album : 21st Century Breakdown
(CD single)
______________________________________________________________________



Do you know what's worth fighting for?
When it's not worth dying for?
Does it take your breath away
And you feel yourself suffocating?

Does the pain weigh out the pride?
And you look for a place to hide?
Did someone break your heart inside?
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky, you and I

When you're at the end of the road
And you lost all sense of control
And your thoughts have taken their toll
When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul

Your faith walks on broken glass
And the hangover doesn't pass
Nothing's ever built to last
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky, you and I

Did you try to live on your own
When you burned down the house and home?
Did you stand too close to the fire
Like a liar looking for forgiveness from a stone?

When it's time to live and let die
And you can't get another try
Something inside this heart has died
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky, you and I

17-8-2008 记载  

Posted by Cbeng in

highlighted:

1.   today have seminar of Physics and Add-maths by Inti University College(speaker: Kumar Krishnan).

2.   Nyin's sweet 16's birthday. (unluckyly didn't have photos, and we just celebrate it "easily".

3.   I had just get Seni paper 2 question of pre-test today.

4.   Seni pre-test on Friday.

______________________________________________________________________


Seminar的“收获”。。==lll

______________________________________________________________________

一大早的周会托A(H1N1)的“福” 尽早完成。

学校4F班的Joseph Teoh Kok Keong被怀疑感染A(H1N1)的病毒,目前在Sg Buloh一间医院进行隔离。周会结束后4F班的学生被指定留在礼堂量体温。

我们排球一帮从礼堂出来到排球场的亭子那蛋糕时,校长走过来问话。。问我们“在做什么?打排球啊?”(周会上才报道说学校里的任何课外活动取消)可能以为我们在“非法聚会”吧?之后校长又问“谁生日?拿着蛋糕的。。”哈哈><

由于我们班上ICT课,所以班上没有老师上来,就到5D班庆祝“罩奶颖”(虽然很不雅,但是她的favourite外号就是这个。。==lll)首先,生日的次序当然是要遵照的啦!生日歌 + 送礼仪式 + 拆礼物。。礼物是一个运动型的手表,是XinLu准备的。。就是树胶条状的表带,方便运动时候戴。。大家一面共用几个叉子,分享着蛋糕,我就逗乃颖说要她感动到流泪。。哈哈xD(请觉得恶性的跳过这个句子><)后来,一位纪律老师进我们班“赶人”了。。结果?没事啦!我们就各自回班咯。。

______________________________________________________________________

到8:50am,我们班从ICT室走下一楼的Bilik seminar听Physics的讲座。参与的班级是全部Science class 的,也就是从5A到5F。。由于要容纳6班的学生(一班大约40多位),这次的seminar没有桌子,还蛮辛苦写字的。。讲师来自Inti University College 的Lecturer。这位讲师讲话有笑点,大家都时不时哄堂大笑。。今天见识到我们班的同学有够厉害的。。整个seminar差不多都是我们班的同学回答问题还有得到奖励("Inti BRANDED file" haha.. XD) Jia Fou一直回答问题,讲师就说“wah! you are very well-known arh!” 然后让我目瞪口呆的是Lee Yin Pin很有自信、稳定地回答问题。。一个字:PRO!! 讲师问他用笔写在白板,他就说要用oral来回答。。然后他走到白板前比手画脚地解释,而且从头到尾都很流畅,还重复多一次给讲师听。虽然对于我班的ICT PRO gang应该是习惯了这样的作风,但是我还是不免 : wah ~~~~

所以说,请应许我自豪一下我班是有多么的才华横溢啊!就是多了我这个无用的学生来,帮不了也没有帮忙。。言归正传,这个seminar进行到11:20am(讲师说时间不足,这是他的要求)才放我们下课。Pn.Chua跟校方申请让我们下课到大约11:40am。。今天难得我、Vivian、XinLu、Lisa一起下可还都有吃东西,尤其是Lisa,她平时没有吃东西的。下课完毕之后回到班才看见白板上写着要去Seminar room继续Add-maths的讲座,也是同一个讲师。接下来的这个讲座进行到大约1pm为止。收获是:一个Inti红色环保袋、一枝“Inti BRANDED pen”、一本小册子、Physics + Add-maths 讲义各一份。。从seminar室下来已经剩下两节英文课而已,老师也没有教课。。简单来说,一整天都没有上课。上英文节时Lisa被我拉来我们班“上课”,老师也没有干她走。。神奇神奇!!哈哈 XP

______________________________________________________________________

今天PeiLing帮我拿了Seni Paper 2 的考题(限3个小时现场画的考题,其实是考试之前一个星期就能拿到的,可是上个星期从星期二开始问到星期五老师都说还没拿到考题。。==" )现在要准备了。。星期五就要考了。。哭 + 苦啊~~~!!T_T

Nyin sweet birthday of 2009~~  

Posted by Cbeng in

To: ZiLian + 38 de Nyin..><

tanjobii omedeto~~~~ ^^ Happy sweet 16~~

today's the cake delicious bo?? XD

aikz...i should merompak tat cake dun wan gib u eat de..haha  XP

do u know how much cheese does Lisa, Vivian n Qiao Yee add in??

3 bars (750g) n a bar of white chocolate!!!! sure it'll tasty!!

They made the cake on Sunday at Qiao Yee house..

how? terharu bo ~~~~~fast cry..haha ><

n yer credit had expire oso can receive sms de larh! u sure din on yer hp yesterday nite..

so dissapointed man!! does u know XinLu n me sengaja sms wish u at 12am??

TMD u told me ur hp can't receive n wanna me send again??

no way i tell u!! the meanings were not there ad..hng~~dun choi u d....bla~~><

12 August 2009 的记载  

Posted by Cbeng in

今天的体育节vivian 还有我打排球。

去体育器材室借了排球就到排球场digging。。

今天两人都不在状态中。。我不用说,没有练球的人是将的啦。。hoohoo XP

Vivian今天手感也不是很好,一直打不准手掌,但是开球还很不错。要是用在比赛中效果会很不错的。

久没有练球手臂都没有力了,肺活量也不够,呼吸不大顺畅。。但是今天一打球结果又让我想回来练球了。。妈妈啊~~~~T_T

最好笑的事情是。。我们班的通常不打排球的男生突然兴致勃勃加入我们。。起初是豪歌,然后是文康。打打下两个人走了。。>< 我和Vivian继续打球时就看见Lisa跑过来了。。哈哈~Lisa! u ponteng arh???? xp 遗憾的是巧薇没有过来一起打(竟然在另一边玩。。不知道我们有打。。=="),不然可以分成两组对打比较好玩。。

再后来,创家、Thomas、文康、Samson、静宜(被我拉来打><)、ZhiLin加入我们一起玩。。当中发生了很多好笑的事情。。虽然以前我们练球的时候也是曾经出现过类似的情况,而且也是很搞笑,感觉却有点不同。。以前是跟队友一起玩,现在是跟班上的人一起玩。。希望我们班上的全部人可以时常一起这样搞笑+play play。。最期待的还是毕业旅行我们的班会怎样呢?到时是一考完SPM就各分东西还是一起去一趟毕业旅行?

一段时间没有练球之后打回排球时是有点累的。。还是因为比较迟睡的关系啊?有点像在梦游将,不够集中。。T_T到下课却不觉得饿。。倒是渴得很。。买了绿茶一个面包慢吞吞地吃。。== 后来后悔买绿茶。。太大瓶喝不完硬是把它灌完。可怜的胃啊!肚皮要burst liao....又不是大幅度地练球消耗能量大半天,又不是随便打打没有跑动,结果搞到肚子撑着。。Vivian 也是这样。。可怜的我们。。Lisa平时下课都没吃东西的,今天也只是买了一罐Vitagen解渴。。(解渴到吗?将小瓶。。很怀疑叻。。==")

今天的课基本上都不用上的。。除了高级数学。接下来的课熬过了4节,到最后的两节华语课我逃之夭夭了。。(很明白的说明了,不用解释啦)下课时约好了Form4的junior他们放学时一起去yellow corner。。都有补习嘛。。

Yume no Chikara 梦想的力量....  

Posted by Cbeng in

Artist: Aya Ueto上户彩

National:Japanese

Attack no.1_ost

Song's name: Yume no Chikara 梦想的力量

Sono yume wo kanae tai

Tatta hitori no jibun no tame ni
“Akirame nai” sono kotoba ga
Ikiru toiu kachi ni kawaru

Tooku kagayaku
Kasukana hikari tayori ni
Kurayami no naka wo samayoi nagara
Dare mo ga mirai wo sagashiteru
Dakedo wasure naide
Nagareru namida wo
Wakachi aeru tomo ga iru koto wo

Sono yume wo kanae tai
Nido to kaeranu taisetsu na hibi
“Akirame nai” sono kotoba ga
Ikiru toiu kachi ni kawaru

Nayan de itatte
Nani ni mo hajimara nai sa
Michibata ni sai ta na mo naki hana no
Tsuyoi inochi ni kokoro utare
Dakara make naide
Asu ni tachi mukaou
Ano hi no kuyashisa bane ni shite

Sono yume wo kanae tai
Tsuyoku shinji te aruite yukou
“Akirame nai” sono kotoba ga
Ikiru toiu kachi ni kawaru

Shiawase nante kokoro no mochi you dakara
Ameagari... sora ni kakaru niji no you ni
Itsumo hohoemi wo wasurezu ni
Sono yume wo kanae tai
Tooku kagayaku hoshi ni chikau yo
Meguru kisetsu sorezore no
Ikiru chikara wo shinji you

Haru no mebae natsu no hizashi
Nanige nai hibi sono subete ga
Aki no ame mo fuyu no kaze mo
Ikiru chikara ni kaete kureru

Kono yume wo kanae tai
Tatta hitori no jibun no tame ni
“Akirame nai” sono kotoba ga
Ikiru toiu kachi wo kaeru
Chiisana yume mo itsuka kitto

Ikiru toiu kachi ni kawaru

Meanings:

I want to make this dream come true
If only just for my sake.
"Never give up", it`s those words that
changed the value of my life


In the distance
the dim light shines
Wandering around the darkness
everyone looks for their future
But I haven`t forgotten
My streaming tears
And the person that I can share it all with

I want to make this dream come true
You can`t go back again to those precious times.
"Never give up", it`s those words that
changed the value of my life

I`m very worried
Because nothing has begun

Like a nameless flower that blooms along the road
My heart pounds, full of a strong soul
But I haven`t lost yet
I`ll confront the next day
And regret the bad mood I was in that day

I want to make this dream come true
Marching forward, stronglt believing in the truth.
"Never give up", it`s those words that
changed the value of my life

Because of the hapiness I hold in my heart
After the rain...a rainbow will be suspended in the sky
Never forgetting to smile
I want to make this dream come true
I swear by the star that shines in the distance
As the seasons change
I will keep believing in the power of my life

The sprouts of spring, the sunlight of summer
Those casual days are everything
The rain of autumn, the wind of winter
They transform into the will to live

I want to make this dream come true
If only just for my sake.
"Never give up", it`s those words that
changed the value of my life.
This small dream will one day certainly
changed the value of my life

TO : Myfriends..  

Posted by Cbeng in

Specially to XinLu..

为什么,
为什么你要我们都一定把你放第一呢?
朋友固然重要,
但是第一的永远会是自己。。
不要否认
也不能否认
第一的永远会是自己
只要你曾经存在过,
存在过在这个世界,
你自己就是那个永远在心中第一的人。。
为何要别人一定把心中的第一位子留给你呢?
只要是真正的关心,
真正的在意,
真正的感受你的存在,
这不就够了?
你要别人把心中第一位子留给你,
是为了什么呢?
在你伤心难过哭泣时让你上岸?
在你逃避时给你一个避难所?
在你快乐时陪伴分享你的喜悦?
在每一刻都关注着你,
在你需要时伸出双手? 
朋友是互相利用的也正确。。
任何关系都是互相利用、依赖的。。这一点也同样的摆脱不了。。
所以,认清事实、接纳事实、习惯事实。。
即使会有难过疲惫的时候,
也都将会成为过去的。。

______________________________________________________________________

当我说任何关系都是互相利用时,请别误会往坏的一方面想。。

意思是任何关系都是互相依赖的。。

就像动物依靠植物存活、植物依靠太阳存活那样。。

就这样简单,不管是科学还是文学科都能明白吧!

若是一开始就往坏的一方面想,那就证明了想法是负面的。。

真正的思考是会思考我为什么会这样说。。

______________________________________________________________________

理解我的自然会明白,

表面并非全真实,连接的是心。。

我们的心曾经连接吗?

晚安。。

free post 1  

Posted by Cbeng in

stomachache

pain

cry

mind blank

live blank

do u understand??

no?

den no nid understand

me lc?? den as wat u feel, i can be it..

THE CLICK FIVE - 《Modern Minds and Pastimes》  

Posted by Cbeng in

This is the second album of The Click Five, named 《Modern Minds and Pastimes》

This album released on year 2007 and the song listing as below:

 01. Flipside
 02. Jenny
 03. Happy Birthday
 04. Addicted to Me
 05. I'm Getting Over You
 06. When I'm Gone
 07. Headlight Disco
 08. The Reason Why
 09. All I Need Is You  
 10. Long Way to Go
 11. Mary Jane  
 12. Empty


The Click Five members:

Kyle Patrick
Joe Guese
Ethan Mentzer
Ben Romans
Joey Zeh

______________________________________________________________________

Amy introduce this album to me..thanks of all to her....this album is nice! ^^

In all of those songs in this album,the song i love most is Jenny..Well, Flipside and Empty are nice songs to me too.... =)

______________________________________________________________________

Wish to check on more information about them?? Go wikipedia and take a look....

Visit to THE CLICK FIVE website....

排球事件三  

Posted by Cbeng in

Do you guys still remember we had participated a beach volleyball competition at Sunway Lagoon?? It's quite fun and memorable..Some of our seniors had graduated and continue for their further studies at colleges...Well, as I know Gary and AhBoon study at TimeSquare hotel..Evon and Qiao yee study Form 6 at our school. Here is some old photos of the days we at the Sunway Lagoon.....

______________________________________________________________________

These photos show we're waiting for the train at KL central, wanna taking train to Subang then taking bus to Sunway Lagoon....It's quite far and unconvenient for us to go Sunway Lagoon....nobody's drive..T_T


______________________________________________________________________

This is Nai Yin with her two idol. Both of her idol are international players which had attend many competition at the other countries and had won most in those matches...Of course, they are beach volleyball players....

______________________________________________________________________

We playing ice skating at the ice rink in Sunway Pyramid after our competition..

The first photo shows Gary, XinLu, Lisa and me..

The second photo shows NaiYin at the ice rink..

The third photo shows Gary at the left and ZhiJian at the ice rink..

and the last photo shows Gary and one of our friends from other school, YeeSam..We get to know YeeSam by volleyball..He is the setter of Sri KL..That's why people always say 以球会友..=) We get to know many friends from others school.. Does they look similar to each other?? hahaa xD we always trick them by saying both of them are brothers....hahaa xD

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________


I'm trying to post our memorable events on here..Purpose?? To remind, recall back our memorable time in future..This is the way to keep our smiles, sadness all together..hope you guys also feel that what we had done in past are memorable..

>

>

*Message to my fellow teammates...

Anyone got more photos or posts wanna share with me copy the post for me, I'll post in the blog and written there : post written by..(ur name) ><

Of course i'm more looking forward those post are on your blog..

23 July 2009记载  

Posted by Cbeng in

今天是星期四。。

____________________________________________________________________

下课时维薇带了她妈咪做的糕点来学校跟我们分享。Aunty 最近在做糕点让他的朋友帮忙在店铺出售,也有多做让维薇带来学校吃。昨天的是芋头糕。唔。。味道ok但是还需要再进步><(还是告诉她意见好了)。今天的是金瓜糕还有一个我忘了叫什么。。粉红色的,扁圆形的,是传统糕点(这个好吃噢!!)Aunty做的金瓜糕味道很像萝卜糕,味道也是好吃但是我还是比较喜欢那个粉红色、扁圆的糕^^。期待着明天的PIE~~~~不知到是apple pie还是orange pie呢?我更期待chicken pie 咧~~~~ 哈哈 XD

我们就说年尾考完SPM之后要去维薇的家BBQ。。她回去跟Aunty说的时候Aunty还问几时要做,要准备食材呢!听说Uncle也是很会煮咧!尤其是螃蟹。。。。有得吃哦~~高兴死我了!!XP

我们排球一帮都有口福咯~~~~!!^^

幸福+开心~~~~~~~

____________________________________________________________________

下课时我们都在排球场吃早餐。。就欠Xinlu还有Amy没有去。。不知他们又搞什么鬼!连人影都见不到。。==

吃完之后我们就开始打球loo~~结果上课时满身都是汗,简直就是“汗浴”!热死人了。。可是今天打得很爽呢。。又让我很想打球了。。怀念啊~

____________________________________________________________________

今天一整天什么都没做。。简直就是:吃、睡、玩乐

回到家时吃了午餐、练琴然后就倒下去睡觉了。。直到差不多八点才起身。

妈咪也是休息到很迟,所以今天晚餐比平时迟吃。

起身后就是对着电脑,edit照片、听歌、edit vivian的照片成movie(但是有问题,还没完成)

Amy叫我今天就去补Bio,她说明天不得空所以今天去补习。可是我差不多八点才看到咧!对不起啊Amy.....Gomennasaii....bia neh.......

对了!!!!我的poster还没有画,也不打算画。。不知道会有怎样的结果咧??算了。。不理它先。。最近整个生活都颠倒了,也没有动力。。

____________________________________________________________________

现在两点多凌晨,是时候要睡觉了。。

About me..

My photo
Creation from the Great

Dreams?? or Wish list =)

  • 1. * A Backpacker's life
  • 2. * Take my mum to travel with (1st station Taiwan)
  • 3. I want to cook & bake for my family,friends, and those ppl i care!!
  • 4. Continue my art drawing
  • 5. Continue my violin lessons and master it (although it's so hard)
  • 6. wish to learn swim & cycling (most basic things i dunno??sucks!!!!)
  • 7. continue to play volleyball with my friends

Things I'll Do

  • 1. Keep on learning
  • 2. Working part time (after SPM)
  • 3. Looking for educational fair
  • 4. Looking for book fair
  • 5. Keep try on cooking & baking, ask mum to teach on too..=D
  • 6. Attend 17's Prom held by YuHua n SgLong's students..[ hope to help too~~ =) ]
  • 7. Backpaking..who's willing to accompany with me??

Gal team of 2009

Gal team of 2009

Boyz team of 2009

Boyz team of 2009

Sukan Wanita 2007

Sukan Wanita 2007

at sunway..

at sunway..

2009 birthday card juz 4 XINLU

2009 birthday card juz 4 XINLU

Graduation Day 5D family pic

Graduation Day 5D family pic

Yin Yee + my birthfday "party"

Yin Yee + my birthfday "party"

Categories

Vball gang

Portal